On Self-love and Eyebrows

So I stayed home from work yesterday just to give you an idea of how sick I look and feel. But I powered through today & managed an hour at the gym. And because I like to think myself unconcerned with such vanities as “looking good while working out” I removed my makeup except I leave my eyebrows filled in because, Dear God, could you imagine?!?! I manage to work up an admirable lower back sweat spot. I was pleased with my efforts despite my having to stop running to cough up a lung every quarter mile. I left knowing that in nary 15 minutes I would be home to wash my sweat soaked hair & attend to that pimple on my cheek that must’ve formed during my lunch break as it sure wasn’t there this morning.

 

I get to the platform to find out that my train will not yet arrive for another 10 minutes. Much to my displeasure I notice a figure approach me. At this moment I like to think the universe was smiling, musing to itself “You ain’t seen displeasure yet!” As I was shuffling through my mental file-o-fax of ways to tell this gentleman to bugger off he says my name.

 
Of course someone I know is on the same platform as me waiting for the same train as me. I look up and who is it but my ex’s best friend! We proceed to wait together for the next 10 minutes all the while not talking about the very person who introduced us and ultimately the very reason he and I are no longer friends on fb. I breezily explain that I’ve just come from the gym that is why I “look a mess” and that I also have a cold so a thousand apologies for that. We ride the train packed like sardines (because this is New York City and there is no better way to describe it especially if it is the first train to the station due to “police activity” at the previous stop). Standing so close that I’m sure he has noticed my lunchtime pimple, the flecks of dead skin on my nose from constantly attending to it with tissue and if he squinted hard enough straight down my enlarged pores into my very soul.

 

I keep up the conversation the entire time. You can be assured as to what a sincere difficulty that is for me! We talk about the fact that I just registered for the last class I need in order to apply for a mater’s program in the fall. About our jobs and how going to school while working a 9 to 5 is something that you just gotta do. Finally, finally my torture can stop as we reach Atlantic. We exchange goodbyes and good-to-see-yous and frantically I pull out my phone and begin to text my best friend Jill. Even though I have no service underground and never will because I refuse to join a half way decent service provider. Give a phone company money I could be giving to food peddlers and assorted booze sellers?! Never!

 
I type, “UGGGGGHHHHH. WHHHHYYYYYYYY???!!!!!” Before I even press send I know Jill is going to ask if I’m ok because she and I are kin which means we recognize that the-worse-thing-that-could-of-ever-possibly-happened has clearly just happened. As I type out the whole story I realize that there are lessons to be learned here…

 

Firstly: Never Never Never take your eyebrow makeup off.

 

Secondly (but more importantly): Love yourself in every moment. Sure I was sweaty, sick and (mostly) makeup-less but it was because I pushed myself to go to the gym, I am making my first time gym membership worth it, I am motivating myself to make better choices for my body and mind. As a result I feel pretty damn good about myself lately. And, gurllll, let me tell you I know those lycra leggings I had on are showing off my progress. Hiiiiiii.

 

Once I got home I looked in the mirror and I approved of the lady looking back at me because while her eyebrows are awesome so is the rest of her.

💌

 

This is a true story I wrote to my friend Jill over two years ago in an fb message. Jill is a NYC school teacher, a writer and amazing friend so when I sent her this and she said that I was a good writer I made a mental note to share it when I felt comfortable because when Jill tells you you’re good at something you better believer her.

A lot has changed in two years but posting this has reminded me what making good choices for your body does for your health and overall happiness.

 

BRB heading to the gym.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

-Vanessa